What I Learned Camping - Bijia Bay, Black Reef Corner, Huizhou Bay, China

Over the weekend , we camped at a beach in Bijia Bay,Black Reef Corner, a beautiful public beach in Huizhou and then went on for sailing the next day in Huizhou Bay.

It was a beautiful spring/ early summer weekend and got to experience our natural beauty. Although the trip was great, 

Here are some words of wisdom and key takeaways about what I learned:

• For hiking a beach in Huizhou, make sure you have shoes with a good grip for all the rocks and climbing.
• Camping at the beach, while sounding romantic is ALOT of set up and work. I don’t suggest going through that process unless you plan to camp for 2-3 nights.
• Definitely get a pad for for the sleeping bag!
• For Chinese BBQ parties, make sure you are hovering around near the grill. You need to a be a type A personality and aggressive to monitor and eventually manage your food you cook.
• If you are vegetarian, make sure you are prepared to bring some main protein source for a Chinese BBQ
• And the most important, always make sure GF is happy if she joins. She didn’t sleep well and I forgot to get her breakfast ready the next day. That put off her mood the whole afternoon!

周末，我们在笔架湾的一处海滩露营，黑礁角，惠州一个美丽的公共海滩，然后第二天在惠州湾继续航行。

 这是一个美丽的春季/初夏周末，体验了我们的自然美景。 虽然这次旅行很棒，

 以下是我所学到的一些智慧之言和关键要点：

 - 在惠州的海滩徒步旅行，请确保您的鞋子能够很好地抓握所有的岩石和攀登。

 - 在海滩露营，听起来很浪漫是很多设置和工作。 除非您打算露营 2-3 晚，否则我不建议您进行该过程。

 - 一定要为睡袋买一个垫子！

 - 对于中式烧烤派对，请确保您在烤架附近徘徊。 您需要成为 A 型人格并且积极地监控并最终管理您烹饪的食物。

 - 如果您是素食主义者，请确保您准备好为中式烧烤带来一些主要的蛋白质来源

 - 最重要的是，如果她加入，请始终确保 GF 很高兴。 她睡得不好，第二天我忘了给她准备早餐。 这让她整个下午都心情不好！

2019 Major Realization & Resolution

Today I got into a pretty deep fight with my father — a little argument turned into me bringing up unpleasant memories and deep felt hurt from the past…. I have never before spoken with such strength about the issues I have with him, but today, in this cold Delhi winter, I let it all out — many of the past issues that have continued to bother me came out like it never has before. I didn’t do this to hurt him, and I do feel bad that I said so much. My father is an honest soul with a pure heart, but somehow, I just reacted to an extreme, with everything I have been hurt by, mainly through his words with me over the years.

Out of this episode came a deeper revelation.

I realized something about something myself. For over 20 years, I have not been able to find someone to marry or have a family with, despite having pushed myself for that ”dream”, since that time.

In fact, many relationships that were leading to a deep marriage, failed. Many because I reacted in ways I shouldn’t have with my consistent temper, usually something trivial that stemmed from a deeper root cause. One which I think I am starting to understand…

One fact I know for sure is that I am an honest soul. I have always been an honest person. So why did there relationships not work? I have questioned myself on these personal relationship issues for years. I have tried to change myself. All in all, I have had much contemplation and self reflection on why my personal life never materialized the way I dreamed it to. Eventually, after all of these negative experiences, I always comforted myself with the notion that I haven’t found the right person and just kept seeking for someone new. To this day, whenever I meet someone in my life, my first thought is around solidifying my plans for marriage and family.

But today, on January 4, 2019, I am realizing that deeper root cause I describe above. I am realizing that perhaps all of my relationship failures might not have been in my hands at all. I am realizing that there is an external force force above me that I have no control over. Call it god, call it faith, call it destiny, call it whatever.

For me, that force has kept me from diving into marriage and family life. There is a reason for that. I think it is a deeper fear that stems from the relationship I’ve had growing up as a kid with my dad, but I cannot psychoanalyze myself. What I do want to do is accept it, once and for all and eliminate the fight for needing to have a traditional marriage and family life any more.

So on this 4th of January, I will make this large resolution:

“I rather be committed in a deep relationship with someone, but not seek out marriage or kids, and accept forces beyond me that are preventing that from happening. I’m completely open to adoption, in fact I think I would love kids in my life, but no longer do I want to have any expectation of more than that.”

In the end, I have realized there is no point going against the tide any more and should be glad that there is some phenomenon out there, that protects me from diving down the wrong path for myself.

Onwards.

Small Advice with Huge Impact, on this beautiful day in Nehru Park

Small Advice with Huge Impact, on this beautiful day in Nehru Park December 6, 2018

Today I was finally inspired to write again after a wonderful experience I encountered, after a very long hiatus.  

I frequently visit Nehru Park in Delhi, one of my favorite destination spots for morning, afternoon walks with my dog Coco.  Usually as part of a new outdoor workout routine, I walk around on a rock- based loop path for natural acupuncture-like therapy, deep inside the park.  As I look down on this walking the path, I always find moving along extremely slow, as I painstakingly traverse step-by-step, enduring the pain, as the sharp rock laid upon the ground, feels as if it’s penetrating the skin on the soles of my feet.

Today was different.  

An older gentleman wearing a suit, sitting in a nearby bench by the path, approached me as he saw me agonizing walking the path.  “Look up” he said with sternness. “Focus on the end, move fast and never look down at the rocks.”

So I tried it.  

To my astonishment, he was absolutely right!  Looking down at the rocks as I walked, not only amplified the painful feeling but also really slowed my down.  The moment I shifted my focus to the end point in space with a goal of finishing the loop in my mind, I noticed myself moving much faster and surprisingly mitigating the the painful feeling.  It was a pretty amazing transformation within my mind!

I went on to thank this gentleman, who I found out had built a lifelong career as a photographer for conferences and events, seemingly at an age of retirement.  I also reflected internally after that experience and realized there was a much deeper lesson of life buried in this simple advice he provided for walking the path.  

Aiming for your goals and dreams will quickly overshadow most obstacles and difficulties one encounters in the path of life. So, stop worrying about the small things of life and focus on the big picture, the end goal, always…

A HUGE lesson learned, from some simple advice given by this nice gentleman, on this beautiful day, in Nehru Park.

Natural Acupuncture Path, Nehru Gardens, Delhi

Small Advice with Huge Impact, on this beautiful day in Nehru Park- December 6, 2018

Small Advice with Huge Impact, on this beautiful day in Nehru Park

Today I was finally inspired to write again after a wonderful experience I encountered, after a very long hiatus.  

I frequently visit Nehru Park in Delhi, one of my favorite destination spots for morning, afternoon walks with my dog Coco.  Usually as part of a new outdoor workout routine, I walk around on a rock- based loop path for natural acupuncture-like therapy, deep inside the park.  As I look down on this walking the path, I always find moving along extremely slow, as I painstakingly traverse step-by-step, enduring the pain, as the sharp rock laid upon the ground, feels as if it’s penetrating the skin on the soles of my feet.

Today was different.  

An older gentleman wearing a suit, sitting in a nearby bench by the path, approached me as he saw me agonizing walking the path.  “Look up” he said with sternness. “Focus on the end, move fast and never look down at the rocks.”

So I tried it.  

To my astonishment, he was absolutely right!  Looking down at the rocks as I walked, not only amplified the painful feeling but also really slowed my down.  The moment I shifted my focus to the end point in space with a goal of finishing the loop in my mind, I noticed myself moving much faster and surprisingly mitigating the the painful feeling.  It was a pretty amazing transformation within my mind!

I went on to thank this gentleman, who I found out had built a lifelong career as a photographer for conferences and events, seemingly at an age of retirement.  I also reflected internally after that experience and realized there was a much deeper lesson of life buried in this simple advice he provided for walking the path.  

Aiming for your goals and dreams will quickly overshadow most obstacles and difficulties one encounters in the path of life. So, stop worrying about the small things of life and focus on the big picture, the end goal, always…

A HUGE lesson learned, from some simple advice given by this nice gentleman, on this beautiful day, in Nehru Park.

Natural Acupuncture Path at Lodhi Gardens

Outside Your Comfort Zone

This morning was very interesting…I woke up to some very heavy, unpleasant his This morning was very interesting…I woke up to some very heavy, unpleasant dreams. And as soon as I got up, I thought to myself, instead of walking out to the ‘world’ in a bad mood, I must get some good exercise and regain my postive spirit. I planned to go to Yoga for an 8AM class at a gym nearby. It turned out when I got to the gym, yoga was tomorrow, and today’s class was “Dance Salsa.”

Whoa! I thought to myself, should I do it? It will be very embarrasing….but then I had known about this class in the past, and its caught my curiosity. So anyhow, right before class started, I decided to ask someone getting warmed up, about it…”come on she said, it will be FUN..you will enjoy it”, she said. She went on to have a conversation about what I do, and made me very comfortable. And after the brief 5 minute conversation, I told her I’d try it, and then and there, I knew I had “committed” and couldnt’ turn back.

As I entered the class, I looked around me, it was a sea of women everywhere, in fact I was the “only “ guy! And it seemed all the women appreciated that I was there, even a few commented about my braveness!” But it was even more humiliating when the teacher in front of everyone, happily mentioned and observed that I was in class, “and we have a guy in class today, how nice” she said. She went on by saying, “So who brought you in here”…and I simply responded, in my embarrased undertone, “I just decided to walk in and try it out..”,…and the next thing I knew, to my astonishment, a loud cheer and clap by nearly every female in class….”Man”, I thought to myself, need some male companionship in here I thought!

The class went on, we did everything from Salsa, to Morenge, to Cha Cha, to Tango, even Bhangra, yup Bhangra!!!! I struggled through it, stepping on myself, totally uncoordinated, hips not loose, you name it….and boy was I self conscious…but after a while, I realized that nobody even noticed, and started getting into it…

As the end approached, an hour later, I gave myself a big internal sigh of relief and pat on the back, “I made it! I survived”…finally the end had come..but to my astonishment, I actually contemplated coming back again, and perfecting my dancing skills — as that is something we do less of in older age, and I remembered how much fun it was during my 20’s to go clubbing! In fact on leaving the gym, one lady approached me really trying to convince me that she herself had NO clue how to dance, but somehow, after a few weeks, it just all came together and this teacher had a way to help you figure out the steps..” Probably easy to pick up for someone that has some sort of talent with movement, I thought to myself, yet in my mind, I remained cynical about my ability to pick these moves up! Nevertheless, she was very encouraging and even told me more males were needed, as there as “too much estrogen in the class”! I laughed and told her I’d seriously think about it..

And the lady I met prior to class starting, she ended up taking my business card and invited me to a “empowerment seminar” that she was running, and told me about a film she was making…strange how I bump into interesting people everywhere I go. I felt in a span of one hour, I made a new friend!

Anyhow, regardless of whether or not I take this class ever again, a valuable lesson learned..its a good feeling to get outside your comfort zone at times…get outside of your “box”, outside of your “routine”..and it also makes you realize how we have one “guaranteed” life to live, and instead of living for others, you should live for yourself, imagine, wonder, try new things, and meet new people…

Onward..

To A Soulmate

I’ve written letters in the past, I’ve dated, met people, faced adventures, looked to settle…  to come to nothing but empty-handedness.  Why, I’ve asked myself.  Is it me?  Is it my destiny?  Or is it that I truly had not found what I was always looking for….

You are different.  Its a strange feeling.  A feeling of positive nervousness when I think of you . A comfort.  A connection.  That of laughter.  That of depth.  This energy flow that seems to transcend us.

Time doesn’t stop.  Old memories stick.  New memories form.  We will keep building our lists of life.  Our work, our agendas, they keep moving forward.  We keep climbing that ladder.  From childhood, till now, the ladder of life.  But, it is this moment, this very moment, that we have to capture.  We have to hold.  We have to cherish forever.  We won’t ever get this time back.  I want to live every moment like we are frozen in a state of time.  Our memories form like a rock, sitting at the bottom of the ocean, never to get loose.

As for my reflections that I spoke of  the other day.   we are human .   we will have moods.   as much as i strive for ups, i will have downs.   I don't want money and material to distract and I feel your confidence in me.. we are new .  I am confident of this.  The  more I spend time , the more I feel a soul connection. It’s my selfish interest to want things perfect . its my desire to remain old fashion…preserve the values i grew up with.  I know money can ruin it all. and I don’t want that to ever be in our way . Sometimes I’ll be more vulnerable and sometimes you.. but if we truly love and feel confident then we will always feel protected.

It is this spirit of connection that can never fade…just grows deeper, fonder, and protected, with time.  We are not perfect.  I must remember.  But its the imperfections that make bring us closer…the the things we will remember..and build this rock solid memories.

Let us share adventures, as we walk the line of life, and build this together.  Our foundation.  Our present.  And our Future.

Into the darkness, into the night.. a goodnight tonight and a kiss that will last forever.

Discovering Startups & How It All Started

When I graduated from UC Riverside around the early summer of 1996, as an undergrad in Business Administration, I was unclear about what I wanted to do next. At that time, near the area of the university, the only corporate jobs I was made aware of were companies in food and beverage like Taco Bell Corporate, or traditional ones such as Avis Rental Car. None of these inspired me, having come from an exciting technology filled upbringing. So I packed my bags and headed home to the San Francisco Bay Area, Silicon Valley, to move in with my parents. There the Internet was in its infancy and only a few knew about it (Netscape launched the first mass consumer web browser called Navigator in 1995). I started looking for corporate tech jobs at the time and remember applying for a customer support role at HP, Roseville. That never came through and again I couldn’t seem to break in since I didn’t have an engineering degree. 

In the Fall, I decided to make a six-week European adventure with six other friends of mine.  We rented a Eurail unlimited pass for one month and backpacked around, visiting London, France, Amsterdam, Germany, Prague, Italy and Spain.  I highly recommended that everyone finds time for a trip like that in their life! It was more than an adventure having six 20-something guys backing around Europe in the mid 90’s! 

Upon my return, I knew I had to find something.  I remember meeting a friend in San Franciso one day.  I mentioned I was searching for a job, and she asked me to come interview at an Internet startup company in Redwood City.  ‘What’s a startup?’, I wondered! No harm in a meeting, I thought to myself.

I remember the day of the Interview.  It was a small office and at the reception area, the VP of Marketing at the time sat on a table informally and started asking me questions.  “So what is it that you want to do?”… I never had a solid answer for that question so I just referenced my business degree from UCR and my sales experience starting in high school working at various retail stores such as Fry’s Electronics….I remember her saying, “well, it looks like you can talk to customers, how about you create a sales script and start trying to sell our flagship web authoring software product?”… I was hired as an Inside Sales Representative and that led to the beginning of my journey in Technology Sales, a skill I developed over the next twenty years of my life.

We were the “darling of the valley” at the time.  An internet-based Silicon Valley startup, with a revolutionary web authoring product, that was covered by Forbes, Fortune, and many other press releases.   Everything was looking very rosy for us from the outside, but little did I understand or know the dynamics inside the organization… It was my second day on the job that I quickly found out. That day, our passionate CEO, an immigrant from New Delhi, India, who worked formerly for a decade at Apple under Scully, called all the employees into the conference room.  I remember being excited and curious about what this was all about. When we were all seated, he went on to tell us that the investors were not going to continue funding the company on the needed next round, unless the CEO stepped down, which he absolutely refused to do.  He continued to tell us about his passion and belief for this company that he wanted to continue to lead and would find a way to secure a bridge loan.  In the interim, until he succeeded, every employee’s payroll could be impacted, but he “would take this company to the ground before resigning as the CEO”.  It was that moment that I knew I had signed up for a wild ride, and understood what a startup was all about.  It was this passion and strong stomach that exuded from the CEO that I fell in love with. The passion of finding an idea and making something great from nothing, no matter what it took. Not only was this the beginning of my sales career, but an entry into the world of startups.  I never looked back.

My favorite childhood memory

Being a first generation American, born in this country, I never got to spend quality time with my extended family, especially my grandparents.  Visiting India, where my parents grew up, it was during the summer and winter holidays of my childhood , that sparks many memories of joy and happiness.  Being the oldest kid on both sides of the family, and being the kid from “America”, I was always the center of attention, surrounded by parties, laughter, songs, and just pure love.  It’s this quality and limited family time I experienced there, from cousins, uncles aunts, especially grandparents and even great grandparents, that created this fond memory that will last an eternity.  My fondness of traveling to India as a child has carried with me into my adult working life as I now am building an international business consultancy that bridges US technology companies with Indian ones and vice versa.  I’ve always enjoyed being this bridge between two counties, and I realize now that it stemmed from these childhood memories.

Reality Bites — The demise of Indian business culture — lessons learned

Reality Bites — The demise of Indian business culture — lessons learned

I have faced many challenges in my career, but nothing surmounts to a rotten character. I would like to share a story about a businessman, who has, through his own shortcomings and personality flaws, made me lose more faith in a culture connected to my ancestral heritage, while at the same time reinforcing certain values to always lead with character, respect and trust. For confidentiality, I’ll call the businessman “Johnny” and the Company, “Company X”

Its a sales process that any sales person would have nightmares about.

I met Johnny earlier in July 2015 ,through a mutual connection. In October of that year, I once again was introduced to him via a celebrity during the a well respected healthcare conference in San Diego, with the notion of helping a well known foundation with their technology initiatives. I was excited at the time, seeing an opportunity to build a solid relationship with a well known foundation and foster new paths for my emerging startup.

I first met Johnny personally for coffee in San Diego, late 2015. From that initial discussion, the opportunity arose to help them use our conference platform for a signature conference in the Fall of 2016. Albeit a small amount of revenue, we saw this opportunity to provide pivotal growth as it would trail-blaze future opportunities, so we took it very seriously.

Little did we realize the ride we were about to embark on.

Between Nov 2015 — through today (May 2016), on several occasions, Johnny had confirmed using our solution for that particular conference through verbal and written communications, starting with a verbal handshake in late December 2015. As a result of these commitments, we spent time and effort on several activities during that period, including the sharing of a confidentiality agreement, drafting of technical requirements, presenting of a written proposal, meeting with the conference organizer to discuss specifications and finally, the coordinating with the marketing team to discuss branding.

As the months proceeded, we noticed that despite his consistent affirmations on the project moving forward, it was very difficult to reach him on contract signature. I always gave the benefit of the doubt, assuming he was constantly traveling and extremely hard to reach. Yet, despite his lack of communication, on the rare occasions that he did reach out, he consistently reinforced the fact that this was a done deal. I n fact, around mid march, we even met Johnny again, in person, along with his staff. He went through the contract, marked it up and we agreed to all of the terms. Again, all signs were positive and he indicated that they would sign off within a few days.

This pattern has continued through today. We are now well into May 2016. Still no signed contract from Johnny, despite consistent promises and commitments.

Please don’t get me wrong. I’ve been in a Sales career most of my life. I completely understand that nothing is final until signed and that prospective customers can be flakey. But I’ve never seen flakiness to this extent, except when I was dealing with business development efforts in India, in the past. In fact, in all of my dealings with representatives of American corporations, I personally can’t recall a single time when a commitment was made from an individual to me, that didn’t eventually go through, especially for a smaller size deal. In the case of Johnny, I’ve now had nearly a dozen verbal and written commitments from him.

In reflecting this morning as I went out for a walk to unwind from all this with my dog, I started questioning if all Indian business culture is really like this — lack of character, untrustworthy, and disrespectful. Even though I have witnessed this behavior with my own eyes for 3–4 years with my former startup, I guess I’ve always been in a state of denial. The truth is, that I have lost faith in the business culture of Indians. One might think I am stereotyping, but my growing disdain for Indian business culture is very unbiased, as any friend of mine would vouch for the huge heart and spirit that I have tried to maintain for that country. Reality has bitten, as my heartful desire to work or be associated with that culture is quickly fading away. Instead, a feeling of a culture clouded with distrust and deceit has crept in. In my opinion this will always hinder India’s path of potential even as the current prime minister touts the progress of the country around the world.

More importantly, although it is a loss in terms of time, money and opportunity for Company X, this entire frustrating experience has been a big motivator and driver for me to take Company X to further heights and drive forward, more relentless than ever. It is also through experiences such as these that one realizes how lucky it is to have grown up in a country with a high standard for culture, integrity, trust and moral standards.

I write this , not only as a means for myself to vent, but also as a take-away for young aspiring entrepreneurs. As you climb the path of success, money will come and go. Maintaining truth and honesty will be your single constant and a true mark of your character, which can never be taken away. I’ll leave you with a favorite quote from Gandhi:

“Your beliefs become your thoughts, Your thoughts become your words, Your words become your actions, Your actions become your habits, Your habits become your values, Your values become your destiny.”

Onward.

A timeline highlighting examples of this experience:

July 2015: First introduction to Johnny through a mutual connection

October 2015: Another introduction to Johnny via a well known celebrity

Dec 15 2015 *via email

Delivered the Company X data security and architecture document per Johnny’s request

February 25, 2016 *via email

Contract and NDA sent to Johnny

March 15, 2016 (iMessage):

Johnny: “Will confirm. We should be on track. Back in La Jolla and will meet with XXX from YYYY and get it done by Friday”

March 27, 2016

Facebook Message from Johnny

“All good my friend. Sorry things have been late to respond. I am back in La Jolla today and heading out tomorrow. I am waiting on a go from the team. Will check with them again tomorrow and make it happen at all cost! …Thanks. You all will definitely implement it..”

March 28, 2016 via text

I sent a long note to Johnny requesting once again to confirm the contract signing

March 28, 2016: via text from Johnny:

“We can proceed. When is the first payment due?..

April 7, 2016 via PayPal:

Money request from Company X for initial deposit sent to Johnny

April 18, 2016 via email from Johnny”

“the App is not a high priority and that is why it slowed down. They are focused on securing sponsorships.”

April 18, 2016

Met in person with the main organizer of the conference. Discussed all open issues and strategies for the App. Composed a detailed email outlining all the key open issues.

April 25, 2016

Met with the Marketing team to discuss marketing requirements for the conferences

May 9, 2016:

Johnny confirmed to meet on May 11 with me.

May 11, 2016:

Still no word from Johnny. The organizer of the conference, who met with Johnny a few days prior, sends me a text, “…meeting w Johnny was good. Your email was helpful. Thank you! He is still exploring app vendor options and I’m sure will be in touch w you soon as he is decided!”

Trip to Barrio Logan, San Diego with my friend, John...

My friend John and I are good friends but we have different perspectives on life.  Thought it would be fun to share road trips and experiences that we make, using both of our perspectives.  Look forward to any feedback.  Thanks!

Barrio Logan

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By John P.

Tonight we checked out a newer growing area of San Diego called Barrio Logan and were pleasantly surprised with the down to earth people and atmosphere.  If you’re seeking to be impressed with Mercedes Benz and BMWs, keep looking.  If you just want alcohol, easy conversation, some art and authentic food, this is the place to hang out.

Patrons there were from San Diego, Del Mar and North Park and had plenty of interesting topics.   Discussions included growing up in Ecuador, studying in Israel or visiting New York – I mentioned discussions, I don’t think people understood the rules about spending more time taking selfie photos, texting friends or sending email, people actually spoke.   

By Raj Oswal

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Experience In Barrio Logan

Today I went with my friend John to a UCLA event in San Diego- it was a beer brewery in the district of Barrio Logan.  When I heard about the event, I knew it would be something unique; a part of town I had never been to, and I knew it would be a place filled with culture.  So despite the drenching rain, I was determined to drive down there this afternoon..

The event itself was a lot of fun. It was a unique bar in the middle of a colorful town, definitely felt like we were in a different world - closer to being like Mexico like that of the US.  As we drank our flights of beer, I noticed more and more around me.  Perhaps the stouts and unique fruitful beers helped with that effect :)  Anyhow as the evening progressed, I found myself curiously enjoying the vibe.. Definitely different than my home town of "fru-fru" Del Mar (as my friend John would say).

As we approached the deep evening hours, and amidst all of my socializing with fellow alums, I felt the urge to leave the bar and explore the neighborhood.  I found myself wanting to find out about an artistic gallery about a block away.  Curious as I was, I decided to explore.

The art bar was definitely a cultural experience...definitely the majority were non Americans,likely latino.  The art was flowing, the vibe was energetic, and there was a sense of curiosity in the air.

For some reason, although I felt in the minority being a 1st generation American, the true side of me came out and I started blending in (at least I felt).. After the art gallery,
I went to an amazing restaurant near by, where I tried their authentic Mexican food, it was delicious...definitely the best I've tried in the US.

Finally , I went back to the bar where my friend was topping off the flights that he had ordered.  As I entered the bar,late evening, I noticed the vibe was changing - but the most interesting thing I noticed was that family's were at the bar, not just the "adults" like in the US.  In fact, I was so fascinated, I caught myself playing Shereds with a young mom and her two daughters-- they were good.

It reminded me of Spanish culture, or European in general, where all families are together- whether at a bar , a restaurant or anywhere.  Why would we rather shelter our kids by leaving them at a sitter rather than take them out in town with you?

In the end, a good trip, a memorable trip, felt like I went to a new country...and reminded me how much cultural experiences shape me...

Random encounter with Howard Schultz, CEO, Founder Of Starbucks

Today, we went to see Howard Schultz speak on his new book, "For Love Of Country". We were actually invited to see him by the district manager of San Diego Starbucks branch,  so we did have an agenda to intro him to our product.  My folks got there before me and saw him signing autographs.  As she just stood there, out of the blue, Howard got up and approached her.  "Why are you standing here", he asked smiling.

My mom didn't say anything..in fact she didn't even realize he was talking to her.  Finally, after a bit of trepidation, she said, "I really have not read your book and am here for a personal agenda!  I am just a simple housewife, and I wanted you to try our new organic mango preserve that I made." .  Howard smiled back, and said, "You made it yourself!"...and instantly told her to wait, as he summoned his Exec VP and asked him to absolutely try the product and be in touch with us...

Now that is some seriously good timing :)  I guess honestly pays off!

-Raj

Rudeness vs Compassion

Today I went to take my dog to a practice evaluation for a local non profit organization called Paws.  Its essentially for dogs to be used as therapy pets at various places such as elderly homes.  I actually had gone to the orientation and also visited a center prior to today in prep for this event.  So this morning, I woke up 630, got ready and was out the door to reach the evaluation location about 30 minutes from my home.  Through the drive there, I wasn't 100% convinced about this program.  The orientation made me feel the program is a bit to rigid in its process (not enough creativity), and even the site visit was a bit dull as dogs were heavily supervised and the interaction time with the elders was too planned.  So I thought to myself with an open mind...even if Coco doesn't fit in, or doesn't pass this evaluation, its OK, but its worth giving it a shot...

Once I reached the location, prior to the start of the evaluation, I noticed Coco was acting shy, and uncomfortable amongst the variety of other dogs- to me it was a sign she didn't care for the situation.

When a first volunteer walked up, I noticed Coco was not very friendly and a bit defensive.  That started making me think that this evaluation perhaps might not work out after all.  Then, a few minutes later, a second volunteer walked by.  When she reached out to pet Coco, Coco snapped at her.  I knew it wasn't a good situation.

"That's it, you gotta leave" she went on to say.  I couldn't look at her in the eye, because I was focused on calming Coco down and making her comfortable.  "I'm serious, she reiterated, you gotta go".  I looked at the lady this time, and felt a bit tinged with dislike.  "Just one incident like this, and you are asking me to leave", I asked..."Yes, she said, your dog bit me"...  onward she ranted about how this could be a therapy for kids organization and that this would not work.  And kept reiterating how I need to leave.

Knowing this wouldn't work, I swallowed my pride, even knowing how Coco would be one of the best therapy pets possible.  Not only myself, but many passerby's always comment on how sweet she is and I've personally noticed how she can really turn someone feeling down into positive energy.

I was ready to leave as I knew I wasn't meant to be there.  But this volunteer kept insisting that I need to leave...I reacted..."You don't need to be so rude" about it, " I got the point", I went on to say.  Another volunteer approached her.  "Did the dog bite you?"  "Yes", she responded, "his dog bit me", she said.."My dog did not bite", she doesn't bite, I went on to defend..."and you really don't need to be so rude..."

The point I am making is that even though I was wrong in thinking Coco was right for this program, there are so many different ways to approach situations.  This particular volunteer was very immature and rude with me.  She didn't exhibit any empathy even though it was a organization that I wanted to go to, volunteering my own time, to leverage Coco to help others.

Driving home, I realized something about myself. I can't deal with rude people, I definitely prefer sweeter types.  Also that I should treat everyone as if I have known them for a very long time, or as if they are my own children..because then your approach towards others, when they are making a perceived mistake, is one of compassion and love, not rudeness and anger...

Getting Coco To Europe - Emotional Support Status

I decided to take Coco to Italy with me starting in March 2013.  I also decided I needed to figure out a way to get her in the cabin of airplane as opposed to in cargo.  It wasn't that simple of an ordeal.  After reading the legal, it seemed that the only thing I needed was to get her emotional support status.  But how?  To get an emotional support status, you needed at the minimum a doctors note from a certified Psycologist.  Luckily I knew a family friend, and since he know I had seen a psycologist 4-5 times on emotional type of support, he was not reluctant in helping me out and actually writing a formal letter..that was the first step.

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These requirements for the letter are excerpted from:
http://airconsumer.ost.dot.gov/rules/20030509.pdf

The letter:

• Must not more than one year old
• Must be on the professional's letterhead* must be from a mental health professional

and must state all of the following:

1. That the passenger has a mental health-related DISABILITY that appears in the DSM-IV. Note it is not just a mental illness diagnosis, but a mental illness which SUBSTANTIALLY LIMITS ONE OR MORE MAJOR LIFE ACTIVITIES. Airlines are not permitted to require the documentation to specify the type of mental health disability or the specific diagnosis, but the letter must state that the diagnosis appears in the DSM-IV.

Finally, after the Vet has completed signing their required documents, I had to go to Los Angles to get the county Vet of Southern California to process and sign final paper work.

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Next I had to go the my Vet to get all of the necessary updated vaccinations (rabies, etc.) Also, according to European standards I had to make sure she was properly vaccinated.

Area Veterinarian-in-Charge (Los Angeles)

11850La Cienega Blvd, Hawthorne, LA
310-725-1970

Getting the badge and vest

Although this isn't mandatory, I did get a vest and badge from a company in the midwest.  I felt that even though a $70 cost, it was more a visable proof that I infact had a emotionally registered dog.  I went with a small mom/ pop place in the midwest for this. There was some small mistakes which delayed the process, but I did like the quality of the deliverable so I still recommend it , even though you should be aware that small business can make some mistakes!

http://www.pupparel.com

Rabbies in Europe:

 For animals coming specifically from the United States (Annex II, Section C of the 998\2003\EC regulation) it is also not necessary to subject the animals to the Rabies serological test.

http://matadornetwork.com/change/how-emotional-support-animals-are-changing-air-travel/

Ahh, and once you have gotten your dog abroad to Europe, make sure you get your European pet passport:

http://www.agriculture.gov.ie/pets/ 

Good Luck!

Meeting Maura and Family in Palos Verdes... June/ July 2013

I stayed with Maura Mizaguchi for six weeks as I was seeking a potential relocation from San Diego to Los Angeles. Coco and I, became great friends with the family. I enjoyed all of the local surroundings which included a day trip to Catalina, many hiking trails in the area, roller blading in Manhattan Beach, strolling the Strand between Hermosa Beach and Manhattan Beach, and exploring the trails around Terranea, Abalone Cove, and the rocky shores of Palos Verdes, and the Botanical Gardens.  Even enjoyed hanging out at Starbucks coffee, with the beautiful ocean views.

It was truly sad to leave, as I had grown very attached to her family and will miss all of them. The greatest thing out of my stay is I made new life long friends.  I'll especially miss the bond with her son Kapono.  We went to the park every day after school, to play with Coco.  At first Coco always barked at him.  By the time we left, they were friends :)

Healer Within Series - Brahma Kumaris

Link To Series:
http://youtu.be/Lt83hOCJSQY

Episode 1:

• Our every thought, word, and action is our creation.  Situations come to us from outside, but our responses our completely our choice.
• People may cheat, betray, trouble me.  But the emotions I create our my responsibility.  I create my emotional wounds and I need to heal myself.
• If I say I cannot change my habits, then I am creating a negative affirmation, and creating a destiny of pain.

Episode 2: 

• Past incidents are triggers which we use to create thoughts NOW.  We have a choice how much pain we create and for how long.
• Never be harsh or critical with yourself or compare with others.  Acceptance and love is the first step to healing.
• Do not leave emotional wounds to be healed with time.  We become weaker, and vulnerable to more wouldds.  Resolve the issue and heal the wound.